Growth Pt. 1

We are more than halfway through 2022! WOW! Already.... For me this year has been a lot about growth. Taking a step back from everything and recognizing what areas of my life need improvement and growth. It definitely has not been an easy journey. Lots of self-reflection, self-care, self-love, and recognition of my valuable traits too! Because of course, we cannot forget to recognize those.

What areas have I grown? Well, I want to first say that having a great support system is key in my journey. For many years in my relationships, I felt very alone and misunderstood. Most don't take the time to listen and understand before rushing to judgment. So the ones closest to me really had to learn to be patient and understand that change and growth is a very uncomfortable process that is frustrating at times for those around us. So I am going to start this series by talking about a few areas in that I have begun to see growth.

Patience

I have learned to be patient with others. Everyone is different. We come from different backgrounds, upbringings / teachings, and we process things differently. If we don't have patience then we are constantly going to be in distress, wondering, and thinking about a million things that may or may not be related or important to the situation. Patience is not an easy concept to grasp. Yes, you can sit still and wait for something to happen and not rush it, but patience is much deeper than that to me. Patience involves training your brain and soul to be still. It can also be understood to be self-control, humility, tolerance, generosity, and mercy. Purifying your mind from evil and hasty thoughts. As the saying goes, patience is a virtue. Through patience, I have learned to be more positive in my thinking and patient with others when we may not see eye to eye on something. Patience leads to my next topic of listening.

Listening

Listening is an important part of patience as well as great communication. This is not a new concept. Listening to understand. Listening not to provide a response. But listening to gain a deeper understanding of what the other person is saying and why they may be feeling the way they feel. Understanding this concept has allowed me to communicate better to others because I realize that what I say doesn't always come across as clear to someone else as it does in my mind. So, by listening to others has allowed me to open up and be more clear about what I am actually trying to convey. This is a process and takes a lot of conscious hard work. Again, be still and focus on the other person's words carefully. Not jumping to conclusions or interrupting but truly listening to understand the meaning behind the words.

Asking clarifying questions is key for me here. It just helps me to dissolve any misinterpretations or misconceptions that our brains tend to come up with. Unsure of what they mean, I restate and ask a question. I try not to assume that I know what a person is saying but instead ask a question. This has helped avoid a lot of arguments and disagreements. Men and Women are different types of thinkers and listeners. This I have come to realize as well over the years. Women are naturally more intuitive and analytical when it comes to situations. As men are more linear and logical. We are almost in comparison, opposites to each other which in my opinion is why men and women fail in relationships. We are so different, and often do not take the time to listen and understand the differences in each other, which cause arguments and separation. It is a difficult and unruly process but can be well worth it when both a man and woman make the effort to put in the work religiously.

In my next part to Growth, I will delve into Emotions & Boundaries. Stay Tuned!